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Diary of a First-Time Boston Runner

Matt Curtner-Smith
Saturday April 17th

Arrived at Boston's Logan Airport at 12:30 pm somewhat worse for wear following a pretty bumpy flight and took the shuttle to the Sheraton. Also on the shuttle were several others sporting a variety of new running shoes and athletic apparel. "Obviously you're all here for our marathon," said a distinctly sedentary-looking driver rather nasally."So they really do talk like Cliff Clavern," I thought. The other passengers and I gave him the collective nervous nod and spent the rest of the journey clinging to our seats as this maniac behind the wheel attempted to break the world land speed record through the crowded streets of downtown Boston. Long stints of horn-blowing aimed at lost tourists who threatened his record time were punctuated every so often with waves to fellow bus drivers and colourful comments yelled out of the window. My favourite of these by far was "Get back to Connecticut!"

Survived the shuttle ride, checked in, and set off for the Hynes Convention Centre, which was attached to the hotel, in order to get my race packet and scout out the expo. What a zoo!

Stood in line and got my race packet. Stood in line and waved my race packet over an electronic mat so that my enclosed computer chip would be "activated." Worried that my chip had not been activated but was reassured by a "chip volunteer." Stood in line and picked up my race t- shirt. Got a tad annoyed when one of the "t-shirt volunteers" offered the unsolicited opinion that I would need an extra-large. Crawled around the expo for half an hour looking for cheap shoes. Gave up fighting the crowds and hurried off to buy a spot of lunch in the connected mall. Very tempted by the fish and chips which looked pretty authentic to this Englishman, but decided it might not be such a good idea and went with the turkey sandwich instead. Spent the next hour walking around the mall rather aimlessly and realised that there was obviously a competition in progress to see who could wear the most garments with "the Boston Marathon" plastered all over them. Decided that I was far above all this childishness while scurrying back to the expo to buy my outrageously overpriced "official 1999 Boston Marathon jacket."

Spent the evening making my 34-item race day checklist, watching an appalling version of "The Man in the Iron Mask" on telly, and eating a shepherds pie I had picked up in the mall earlier which was decidedly long on potato and short on shepherds. Turned in at 9:30 pm and didn't sleep a wink.

Sunday April 18th

Rose at 8:30 am. Munched on a bagel and a couple of bananas and started on the first of my bottled waters for the day. Felt stiff and worried that I was coming down with a cold. Hurried off to the mall and consumed a large orange juice to fight off the imaginary illness and then returned to the expo. Crowds were even larger now but prices were going down. Purchased two pairs of running shorts and one pair of what were described as "wind pants" which were dirt cheap but which I didn't need. Returned to the hotel to pick up my official 1999 Boston Marathon jacket before going for a stroll around downtown. A couple of minutes into my stroll I came across two rather burly local police officers and asked the way to Copley Square since this was where runners were to catch the "official Boston Marathon buses" to the start of the race at Hopkinton on the morrow. One of the officers rolled his eyes and pointed the way with a fake politeness which screamed, "Not another tiresome tourist," and then asked, "So which country are you from then buddy?" "Actually, I'm from Alabama via England," I answered." "Oh,"he said, "So you're not from another country at all, you're from another planet!!" I nodded sheepishly and headed off for the Square while the two officers guffawed at my expense and exchanged low fives in that very "pleased with my wisecrack" kind-of-way.

Spent the afternoon in the hotel room with my feet up, drinking gatorade, and watching English soccer on the telly. Very civilised! Ordered the standard Curtner-Smith pre-race meal (a medium beef and pineapple pizza with very light cheese) at around 5:15 pm, consumed it around 6:00 pm, and then worried that I had overeaten. Spent the next couple of hours, packing my bag, adding items to my race day checklist, and experimenting with different chip positions on my left racing shoe. Consumed more gatorade and more bottled water before turning in at around 9:30 pm. Spent half the night visiting the bathroom and, again, didn't sleep a wink.

Monday 19th April - Race Day!!

Rose at 6:00 am. Showered, dressed, and watched the weather forecast which promised a tail-wind and a cloudy 55 degrees with a chance of rain for the race. Changed from long-sleeved to short-sleeved shirt and back again twice and scoffed down a cliff bar. Went through my race day checklist to make sure I had not forgotten anything crucial, had a final look at the course profile, and then headed to Copley Square to catch the bus to the start.

Sat with three local Bostonians on the bus who were running for charity. We exchanged the usual "Where are you from?" "Where did you qualify?" "What was your time?" "What time are you hoping to run today?" and "I haven't really trained for this one" pleasantries. The fellow on my right was also quick to ask if I realised that this was"Patriots Day," the day New Englanders celebrated "the beginning of when we started kicking you Brits' a----" It crossed my mind to point out that, in actual fact, during the first battle of the War of Independence it was not British a---- that were kicked. Decided against it since this was an exchange I had no chance of winning.

Arrived at the "Athletes' Village" in Hopkinton around 8:00 am. The village was a bit of a disappointment. It consisted of two large fields, a tent, a stage, and the longest line of portable toilets I had ever seen. I quickly found a spot in the tent and set up camp near one of the large tellys. Spent the next three hours sitting on my trash bag, consuming more bottled water, standing in the portolet line, and dashing into the bushes. Realised, after half an hour, that the "Good Morning America" show I was watching was actually being broadcast from a stage in the Athletes' Village. Wandered over to gawk at Charlie and Diane who had suddenly become experts on marathon running.

Once Good Morning America was over, the local telly networks took centre stage and kept us entertained with numerous interviews of runners, husbands and wives of runners, volunteers, and those responsible for directing the race. Of all the "interest stories" broadcast, to me the most interesting were the fellow who had run the London Marathon the day before and had flown to Boston to complete "the double" for charity and the couple who got married in the middle of the Athletes' Village around 10:00 am.

At around 11:00 am the portolet lines suddenly grew much longer and the number of male competitors jumping in the bushes increased considerably. The village was rising. Layers of sweats, hats, and gloves which had been donned at dawn as protection against the 32 degree wind-chill were being peeled off, racing shoes were being laced-up, and the air was thick with the whiff of sunscreen and vaseline. The temperature was now close to 60 degrees and it was hot and sunny! I changed my mind again and hastily pinned my race number on my lucky singlet before making for the bushes for the 10th time and joining the wave of runners now leaving the Athletes' Village and heading for the start.

Nerve endings were now beginning to jangle and it helped greatly to see a familiar face in the crowd of runners converging on the start - one Walter Linsenmaier. Walter was good enough to show me where to drop off my clothes bag and to point me in the direction of the third coral where I was seeded to start the race. I showed my number to the policeman assigned to keep bandits, those with even lower numbers than myself, and other riffraff out of the third coral and was allowed in. 11:45 am and the tension is close to fever pitch. The wheelchair race starts and I tie my shoelaces for the eighth time in the last 10 minutes. Then I make an effort to concentrate. I shut my eyes and think to myself,"For goodness sake stick to the plan. Remember, run the first half conservatively, between 7:05 and 7:15 per mile all the way, hang on in the hills between 16 and 21 miles, and then give it a go in the last 5 miles."The man with the microphone begins the count down. "Thirty seconds to go before the last Boston Marathon of the century," he yells. Then silence. Then - - BANG!! The gun goes off, the crowd and the runners let out a mighty roar, and . . . I go absolutely nowhere!! In fact, I end up walking to the start line where I am deafened by the squealing of activated chips passing over the start mat and barely remember to start my watch. Still, within a minute I am jogging and then running the first mile which is, just as advertised, steeply downhill. The main priority at this stage is not to trip over other runners as we are packed in the narrow country road like sardines. Can't believe how big and how enthusiastic the crowd is. "OK," I think, "first mile marker coming up - 7:52. Blast, already behind." Slight panic sets in and I go completely brain dead and run a 6:32 second mile. "Whoa," I think at the beginning of the third mile, "way too fast." I slow down a little but still run 6:42, 6:39, and 6:54 for miles 3, 4, and 5. I change my frame of mind. "This is easy," I think,"I can keep this up all day. Could be looking at a sub-3 hour time here."Fatally, I also run miles 6 (6:51), 7 (6:49), 8 (6:55), 9 (6:57), and 10 (7:03) too fast. By mile 10 it's getting much warmer (70 degrees) and I make a point of slowing down at the water stations so that I actually drink the water on offer rather than launching half of it up my nose and spilling the rest on my singlet. "Still feeling easy," I think to myself and plough on running the relatively flat 11th and 12th miles in 7:09 and 7:02, respectively. Mile 13 is a little special as the girls from Wellesley College go nuts as predicted. The old chest goes out and I put on a little spurt as I go past and clock 7:03 for the mile. I go through the halfway mark at 1:31:40 and think, "Still feeling great" but notice that others around me are beginning to tire and struggle. I run 7:08 and 7:19 for the flatish 14th and 15th miles trying to gather myself for the hills to come. At this stage I readjust my goal time to around 3 hours. The first hill at 16 miles is fine and I run 7:11. However, the damage has already been done and during the next five miles I begin to unravel. I go through mile 17 in 7:37 and hurt badly for the first time in mile 18 (7:55). "Still," I tell myself, "all you have to do is guts it out for the next 3 miles and it's all downhill from there. Plenty of time to recover and cruise in for glory in around 3:07 and run a PR." I do indeed recover somewhat during mile 19 (7:36) but then run 7:56 for the 20th mile which I go through in 2:23:20. "Ok, " I think, "I should be able to manage a 50-minute 10k from here and can still run a respectable 3:13." This proves to be yet another gross miscalculation as I hadn't realised that there was still one more hill - the infamous heartbreak - to come. "Odd that someone can do the necessary arithmetic to figure out his pace per mile during the race but can't count to four [i.e., the number of big hills on the course]," I think to myself wryly as I see heartbreak looming large in front of me. I run mile 21 in 8:45 and it knocks the stuffing out of me. My new goal is now just to finish without walking. Mile 22 (9:02) is agony as first my left hamstring and then my right calf cramp badly. During mile 23 (8:04) I figure out a way to shuffle so that I can keep "running." However, during mile 24 (11:49) my right hamstring and my left quad also cramp and I am forced to walk. New goal - "Just finish!" I am forced to walk most of mile 25 (12:53) and try to stretch at the side of the road. As if the pain is not depressing enough, runners looking much fresher than me are streaming by. Among their number are a jester, a giraffe, and a Viking! (Based on my overall pace at mile 20 and my finishing time, I later calculate that approximately 2,000 runners went passed me in the last 10k!!!) By now the crowds are huge and plenty of people urge me on to the finish. One particularly loud fellow brandishing a beer yells, "Come on number 3902 you look great, you're nearly there." I give him the "Oh really!" look and he smiles and says, "OK, so I lied." Still, this little exchange gives me something of a boost and I begin running again. Somehow I make it to the last turn and spy the finish line in the distance. The crowd is deafening now and I even put on what feels like a spurt to the finish line. That last 1.2 miles, covered in 13:07, is one of the most painful yet strangely satisfying experiences of my running life. I make it in 3:26:59."Never again," I think as I limp to the drinks station and have one of those surprisingly effective foil capes wrapped around me. "Never again," I think as I move on to the chip and medal exchanging area where, feeling a little dizzy, I lie down at the side of the road for 20 minutes. "Never again," I think as I collect my clothes and shuffle back to the hotel.

Once back in my room, I collapse on my bed and watch the rest of the race on the telly. I learn that a bunch of notable runners dropped out of the race with cramps, including Bill Rodgers and Moses Tunui, and that this is one of the worst Bostons for heat-related problems. I begin to feel better. Maybe I didn't do so badly after all! After a two-hour soak in the bath and much calculating, analysing, and cursing I feel even better. "Perhaps I'll have a go at Chicago in October," I think, "and then come back and do this one properly next year!!"

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